Beware of Pride

Pride. 

I always like to define a word, so I know exactly what I am learning about. So, I looked up the word "pride" in a current, online dictionary. It is defined as “a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.” (Pride, 2018,  OxfordDictionaries.com) That is our modern definition of “pride”. I do not think that was the meaning of the word when the Bible and Book of Mormon were written. I next checked the Webster’s 1828 on-line dictionary and found this definition: “Inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable conceit of one’s own superiority in talents, beauty, wealth, accomplishments, rank or elevation in office, which manifests itself in lofty airs, distance, reserve, and often in contempt of others.” (Webster's, 1828,) Quite a difference in these two definitions!

This to me is a great example of how word meanings have changed over time. Most people today think that “pride” is a good thing to have. We have pride in our accomplishments, pride in the success of our children, we show pride in the work we do – pride helps us to do our best. How then is pride a sin? How does pride lead to destruction, heartache, and sorrow?

President Ezra Taft Benson states:

“Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance. In the scriptures there is no such thing as righteous pride – it is always considered a sin. Therefore, no matter how the world uses the term, we must understand how God uses the term so we can understand the language of holy writ and profit thereby” (Benson, 1989, para. 8). Pride is the absence of humility. When we are humble, we want what is best for others. In marriage, pride leads us to put our own desires and needs over those of our spouse. When we are humble, we will see our own mistakes and be able to repent.

Over the years of my marriage, I have come to see the importance of putting my husband’s needs and desires before my own. This is not to say, that I allow my spouse to trample on me or that I am a submissive wife without needs and desires of my own. If both of us treat our spouse with love and respect, repenting when needed, we will be strengthened in our relationship. We need to look at ourselves and ‘fix’ our own faults, not look at ways to ‘fix’ or change our spouse.

“…any time we feel irritated with our spouses, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouses to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility” (Goddard, 2009, p. 77). This can be a tool for us in knowing when we are letting pride creep into our marriage. 

Ezra Taft Benson states, “Another face of pride is contention… 

Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away… the scriptures tell us that ‘only by pride cometh contention’ (Prov. 13:10)” (Benson, 1989, para. 30).

I choose to be humble and repentant. I choose to look at myself and see how I am prideful and how I can be a better wife.

Benson, Ezra Taft. May 1989. "Beware of Pride" in Ensign, Salt Lake City, UT: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Goddard, H. W. (2009) Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.
Pride. (n.d.). In Oxford Dictionary online. Retrieved from https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/pride.
Pride. (n.d.). In Webster's Dictionary 1828 online. Retrieved from https://webstersdictionary1828.com/dictionary/pride.